Funnies

[Beerankutty]

Sardar: My dad was an extremely brave man.He once entered a lion's cage.
Friend: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Sardar: I didn't say he got out.

[Vishay]

After seeing one of my girlfriends baby pictures, I hope the kid looks like me.

Wow! beautiful

[aneeshman]

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[Noxide]

After seeing one of my girlfriends baby pictures, I hope the kid looks like me.

You really are Mr Sensitive aren't you?

[zhuwh]

oh, what a baby...

[Beerankutty]

A couple in their 80's were having problems remembering things,So they decided to go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay,but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, watching TV the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks,"Where are you going?" "To the kitchen for a drink," he replies. She asks, "will you get me piece of cake?" The husband says,"sure." She gently him "don't you think you should write it down so you don't forget it? He says "No, I can certainly remember that!"
Then the women, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down because I know you'll forget it."
The man replies "I can remember that! You want some cakes with strawberries."
She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream on top. Now I'm certain you're gonna forget that,So you'd better write it down ok."Irritated he says "I don't need to write it down woman! I can remember that! Cake with strawberries and whipped cream." He then grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 30 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says,"Where's my toast?"

[Vishay]

You're a Statue
A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder.

'Don't move! You're a statue!'

The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration. The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she.

The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue and says, "Here. I stood around for 3 days at the Smiths', and they never fed me a thing!"

[HornyDevil666]

After seeing one of my girlfriends baby pictures, I hope the kid looks like me.

I'd hate to be in your shoes when your girlfriend reads whats you've put about her

[gerrit1951]

Banned Disney Pictures

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[aneeshman]

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