Funnies

[kyrararen]

Teacher: "why didn't you comb your hair?"
Nick: "I dont have it, Ma'am."
teacher: " you could use your fathers, couldnt you?"
Nick: "he doesn't have hair, Ma'am."

[Vishay]

Cash


On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company
noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him,
"How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed
that he was asked such a personal question,
he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month,
Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet
and removed 6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said,
"Around here I pay people for working,
not for standing around looking pretty!:clapping:

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.


Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
"And that applies to everybody in this company".


He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man
I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"

[EvilSpaghetti]

[jmarin]

...................

[emil07]

Damn

[emil07]

Wow

[svenny000]

[QUOTE=emil07;399372]
Wow


Off topic: (I just do not have any words, just imagine how the future hunters would be like ... (and the story came out in Norway for like a halv a year ago or something. xD)
__________________________________________________ ____________
On topic

[Vishay]

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether a computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (' el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

[Silver]

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

[Vishay]

The pregnant girl


A pretty college girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a test kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing,crying,the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey at the temples, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll provide support.

If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,



"Then you try again."