Funnies

[SuperFlash1980]

Okay, judging by my baby picture, I've figured out the kid doesn't need to look like either of us. My god what have we created!

[KidRapper]

Okay, judging by my baby picture, I've figured out the kid doesn't need to look like either of us. My god what have we created!

Maybe you should change his diaper, or you'll get a free chance to dine in hell.

[SuperFlash1980]

Maybe you should change his diaper, or you'll get a free chance to dine in hell.

Yeah, I think I've been having too much fun putting that dude's face on stuff.

[aneeshman]

Log in to see links

[Vishay]

Right question
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."

[aneeshman]

Log in to see links

[Michelle]

[Vishay]

Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

[RaulRey]

You can understand this only if you saw Inception...

[Paul]

I love it, what a goal, he set himself up, an assist and a goal all in one